Natural Frustrations | I'm Not Trying to Be Erykah Badu JUST Because I am Natural!!

I was just called "Jill Scott". I am sick and tired of all of these natural stereotypes. I went natural so that I could be myself 100%, not so that I could be stereotyped as something more or less than  me. Unlike most, I don't try to be anyone or anything.... I just AM. I am me.

Not Erykah Badu, not Lauryn Hill, Macy Gray, or Jill Scott either. It's crazy how people that wear all kind of crazy, unrealistic, weaves and wigs don't get called a different name  or stereotype as the hair changes {you know, like BECKY or HANNAH, better yet Lee Wang (although they AREN'T clearly themselves {ever}) but the moment we go natural, we're called the names of the faces that wear kinky curly hair, {although it grows out of all of our scalps in a highly textured form}. 

This is the way my hair grows. I hate how people see the one external change and it changes the entire way that I am perceived. Are we that shallow that a change in hairstyle changes how a person is seen? Yes, I do believe that my decision to go natural symbolically represents my mentality (like breaking away from the oh too familiar collective consciousness that too many engage in) but, nevertheless, I am still basically the same person, just a little more aware. Not Erykah Badu, Not little Miss Afrocentric or Miss save the planet. Just Nikki. 

          Dear World, 

 Please treat me the same as I was treated before going natural. 

Yours till death do us part, 

NaturalNikkiDST

P.S. I'm still the same chica as before

New Seasons of my favorite showss!!!

Plus I have a new show that I really like

Single Ladies on VH1

you are NOT winning if...

I have been looking at people's facebook pictures and they have these pictures of them with money in their hands, or pictures with all of these expensive clothing, shoes, and jewelry. At first I thought that will be me... Then I thought about it.... They are not winning, because they live at home! I have been independent for some time now, I have my own place, my own car, my own cellphone, and I(me) pay for everything on my own.... that would include my insurance, my electric bill, my cell phone bill, my cable, my Internet bill, and basic maintenance of my car... From time to time I ask my mother for money but not that often. I usually work two jobs,because I like the idea of having a paycheck every week, but since I am a VISTA it is against the rules and my contract to work another job while a VISTA, so that pretty much sucks.... But I know that once my terms ends, everything will be all good again. Its crazy because I hate being on a VISTA salary, but the good thing about it all is that a large potion if not all of my tuition for school will be paid for! So that is a good thing! Plus since my new assignment is in a new location and my rent and ult. is super cheap that will be an extra 100 in my pocket to save or spend as I so chose! SO THAT MY FRIENDS IS WINNING.

Update!....on my LIFE!

I have not been on in a while and I would like to personally apologize for that. I have another blog where I talk about my hair, and I answer people's questions about natural hair care. I am not licensed but I gather my information from my experience and information that I find. Typically if I researched it I have the link where I got the information from. But back to my life. So I took my braids out!

IT GREW IT GREW LOL

Then I put a new protective style back in my hair

I also got back into the gym and I started working out!!! So far I have lost  three inches in my waist, .25 inches in my hips, my arms stayed the same, but I gained 2 inches in my thighs!!!! ugh. That is something that I want to decrease. I want smaller hips and thighs. My trainer said that it probably muscle. A lot of people say that I am crazy, because I want to lose inches and weight in those area. But that is not me. I am currently a size 12, and I want to go down to a size 7 or 9. Below are recent pictures that I took of what I look like now...

I have not ran my 5k yet

However I did find a race to run, that is on July 26th. I am not sure how well I will do, because I haven't really been training like I did for the first one. So I have three weeks to get it together. A couple of months ago I could run 3 miles in 33 mins. So we shall see.  I am going to start one week on the treadmill/ elliptical;. and then the next and final week on the road and timing and seeing how I do. As long as I can run this 5k in under 45 mins I am happy. So we shall see.
Also my new roomie in St.Louis, wants me to run in a 5k adventure race in October, so I got to run in at least one before that. So I am excited about that race.

Yeah so that is a quick little update on what I have been doing. Oh yeah I have 47 days left  before I move to the "Show Me State"

Oh yeah I almost forgot, I found an amuni chapter and that Soror paid my national and local dues, thank you so much Soror, I really do appreciate it and I am so happy that you helped me out! Because I was pretty low on cash. I typed that up like it was past tense, I am still low on cash! So I am happy to join that chapter!!!! yay for my amazing sisterhood!!!!

Oh And I found 2 other organizations that I want to join when I get down there. The Urban League and Toast Masters. I went to one Urban League meeting  down here in the Hampton Roads area and I loved it. So I am excited to join one in STL. I hate being bored and if I am in these organizations, along with Delta and work, I will never be bored!

So I currently work at the YWCA and I love my job, so I was very much interested in volunteering maybe 2-5 hours a week with them. So a coworker/former VISTA helped me find a number for a YWCA in STL. So I called and I inquired about possible volunteering there once I got down to STL. I briefly descibed what I do and what I am experienced in. Next thing I know, the woman on the phone offered me a job there. How cool is that?!? I told her that I already had a job in STL, then she asked me when does my contract end with my new job? I told her then she tells me: "well, we have a program that I would like you to join it is for young women 22-42. I would like you to be a part of that along with volunteering and when your contact ends if you are interested maybe you can work for us!" I was shocked! What a blessing!!! The Lord is soooo good!

Oh yeah I got TWO more things to say. I am not that close with my father or his side of the family so I was able to connect with one of my aunties on my father side and I was able to talk to her. So the plan is to go and visit his side of the family for Thanksgiving! So I am very excited about that. I want to say that the last time that I saw them I was 7 or 8. I am 24 now, so that's a long time. I also connected on facebook with some of my cousins. I do not have a big family. It has always been my mother, my brother, and me. that's it. My mother was in foster care as a child so I have never been to a family reunion or anything because I don't have anyone to reunite with. On my father's side he is one of 7 so he has a big family. So this will all be new to me. I am not use to having a big family and having cousins, aunts, and uncles. I knew I always had them but I never really interacted with them so this is exciting for me. I think that is why I love being a Delta and I loved being apart of my undergraduate chapter, because they were my version of this big family that I never had and also why I enjoy interacting with so many of our old heads.

And lastly education, education, education..I cannot believe that I forgot to talk about that...I am a firm believer in education! I absolutely love to learn! I have two degree now, but I really really want to go back to school and receive my Masters In Social Work! I have already been accepted into a wonderful university and I deferred it for one year to finish out my contract in STL. One of my gr8 friends told me about a very prestigious university in St.Louis,MO. I am now in the process of applying to that school! Now you may all be asking why is she applying to another school if she already got into one already. Here is why.... I am interested in getting my MSW with a concentration in clinical. I am interested in mental health, genealogy, substance abuse, and research... Now I know that is a lot, but this university will allow me to receive my MSW with these different specialise and it all can be acheived in two years! I know that I said this before in previous post, but I am really intriqued my addictions, family/marriage counseling... I really like trying to help adults and teens, not and I repeat NOT children. I also enjoy learning more about aging, because eventually everyone will be old, so you really want to make sure that you have people in your corner that will help make your aging process worthwhile. I finished up everything for the application process, including a 7 page, single space personal statement. Also another gr8 thing about this school is money... they awards over 3 million dollars in scholarships to their students each year, and some recieve 2 years paid tution. They also award AmeriCorps VISTAs with scholarships as well. Now as a VISTA yes I recieve money, but I really want to use my VISTA money to pay off my $13,000 school loans that I have.(not bad for 2 degrees)  I just need to round up my references and transcrips. So I will be in the process of getting those before I leave in 47 days.

So yeah that's what's been going on with me!

Be blessed, Thanks for reading, and I hope everyone has a happy 4th of July!

Sometimes by Angie Stone

I am having a Angie Stone kindof day. I love this song by her. I heard it on the radio today and realize that I had not dedicated a post to her. Now the song is kindof old, but I love it all these years later...

Am I true to myself: A mirror to the soul...Inspirational Poem of the day

Am I True to Myself

I have to live with myself, and so
I want to be fit for myself to know,
I want to be able, as days go by,
Always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand, with the setting sun,
And have myself for things I have done
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
A lot of secrets about myself,
And fool myself as I come and go,
Into thinking that nobody else will know
The kind of man I really am;
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect,
I want to deserve all men’s respect;
But here in the struggle for fame and pelf
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
That I’m bluster, bluff and empty show.
I can never hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself, and so,
Whatever happens, I want to be
Self-respecting and conscience free.

Edgar Guest

WORST DATE EVERRRRRR!!!

I have never been know to talk about a date that I went or even a relationship that I have been in with anyone. I just a very private person esp. when it comes to the person that I am seeing. But this had to be posted. I went on a date with a guy that was rude, arrogant, a liar, and on top of all of that he was CHEAP!!!.. I am not a gold digger, but come on now man you cannot be cheap on the first date. I am an understanding individual, so if you tell me you don't have it like that, I can work with you. But what made it so funny, I wasn't even trying to go anywhere expensive. But talk like you have a lot of money and you can't even afford to rub two pennies together. I h8(not that is a strong word, I dislike when people rude or talk down to you OR EVEN ACT LIKE THEY ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE. I don't like that. I also do not like when people try to talk to me as if I am 12. Now granted I am 24, but I am wise and very mature for my age. I got a lot going for me and I got a good head on my shoulder. I am far from perfect but I am very thankful for everything I have and I work VERY hard for everything I have. Just because you are a little bit older than me doesn't mean a thing. I can continue to blog about how bad this date was, but I am not. That would imply that I actually care about the insignificant individual/ non mother freaking factor in my life.lol. Bottom line he thought he was going to get a second date and he didn't. In fact he didn't even get a response when he texted and attempted to call me.

Question of the day: I wanted to know everyone opinion for today. What is your worst date? and Why was it your worst date?

So Just What Does It Mean To Be Natural? Everyone's Got An Opinion.

Hey Curly Nation!

It's NaturalNikkiDST, and today, I would like to discuss the concept of "being natural". Just what does it mean to be natural anyway? I actually thought I knew what it meant until I visited various chats and online discussions, but now I'm a tad bit confused.:( I've always thought that being natural in its basic definition was being free of relaxers. Now, after being a part of different online conversations, I've found that the concept of what is natural can vary from person to person. I remember visiting a Facebook fan page that was not a natural hair page, and they posted the question "What does it mean to be natural?" Of course, I looked at several people's answers before posting my own and was shocked and amazed that some people actually believe that being natural included being free of weaves, wigs, and any type of extensions (such braids). I thought that was rather absurd considering the fact that your natural hair will still remain natural even while covered under weave, because it does not alter your natural hair pattern (I digress). I then proceeded to give my opinion which was along the lines of what I stated previously, and tried to educate people on the use of extensions as protective styles by natural women. I was then verbally chastised by one young woman and told that women who do that only do that because they don't want to do their hair. She also told me that she had been natural for quite a while and didn't use protective styles, that I didn't need to either, and that people should do their own hair in a nutshell. I did try to explain that everyone is different and that there is no right or wrong to this natural hair thing, but I wasn't going to argue. I just left the conversation with a "to each his own" type of comment, and kept it moving. Upon further analysis of this whole natural hair debate, I've realized one thing. For some people, natural hair is a state of being and not just a simple change in hair texture. In other words, unless you're rocking your own natural hair 24/7, in some people's eyes, YOU'RE NOT NATURAL.  I say, WHO CARES! Whether you rock your natural hair as an Afro or under a weave, we all belong to the same sisterhood of naturals and should embrace each other for our differences as well what we have in common. As I climb off my soapbox, I hope you all have a wonderful start to the week! Until next time Curly Nation!


  Live Free! Live Natural!